First of all, let me just personally congratulate Bo Ryan and the Wisconsin Badgers on a thoroughly enjoyable ride to the 2014 Final Four, but more importantly, I'd like to also send a "thank you" to the Badgers as well for taking the focus off the Milwaukee Brewers and putting it right where it belongs, on March Madness.
That said, outside of the thousands composing the fanatical Grateful Red fan base in Mad City, who out there had Wisconsin in their Final Four? I'll come clean, I had Creighton, Duke, Iowa State and Florida. That should tell you what a savant I am when it comes to college basketball, feel free to read on if you'd like.
By now, if you're addicted to the Madness like I am, you're familiar with the cosmic story of Wisconsin's head coach, Bo Ryan, advancing to Texas on the same day his dad, Butch, would have celebrated his birthday. It's the ironies of all basketball ironies, being that Bo finally makes the trip to the Big Dance but after all these years of attending with his father, he advances to the Texas 2 Step without him. You can't script it any better, unless, of course, the real reason you defeated Oregon, Baylor, Arizona and the rest is because your star player is named Frank Kaminsky.
Understand that Madison, Wisconsin, first and foremost, is home to an Oscar Mayer meat processing plant, symbolized by none other than the iconic Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, regularly seen tooling around campus, usually driven by an aspiring marketing student in search of a legendary creative idea. Along comes Wisconsin basketball, 2013-14, and guess what, Bucky's 6'11" junior center not only sets the school single game scoring record (43 points), but heats up just in time to lead his battling Badgers to their first appearance in the Final Four in 13 years, and his name, of course, is Frank. Bingo. Let the sponsorships line up accordingly.
Not only is Kaminsky way beyond bun length and jumbo dog status in his exploits lately (28 points and 11 rebounds against Arizona, including six huge points in OT and countless other clutch baskets, on only 11 total attempts, by the way), but he comes completes with all the fixings usually found on the classic Chicago style hot dog. Kaminsky knows all about that too, he grew up in Lisle, Illinois, deep in the heart of one of the greatest hot dog franchises in the world, Portillo's.
Would you like sport peppers, relish, diced onions, tomatoes, dill pickle spear and a poppy seed bun with your all beef Frank? Wisconsin's Frank has them all, only in the form of footwork, defensive shot blocking capability, countless head and shoulder fakes, and a deadly 3 point shot. Add it all up with an incredible March Madness performance on the side and you have one of the country's best big men in NCAA basketball, just make sure to hold the ketchup.
Now all that remains to be played in Jerry's Palace is another "two game tournament" as Bo likes to call them, and led by Big Frank accompanied by his other menu items; Ben Brust, Josh Gasser, Traevon Jackson, Sam Dekker, Nigel Hayes, Bronson Koenig, Duje Dukan and Dancing With The Stars very own Evan Anderson, Wisconsin just might have all the ingredients it needs to bring home the national title to Mad City. Frankly speaking, of course.
And For What